girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
