I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
