so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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