I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
