Umm I'm too high to move.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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