i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
