I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you didnt know i had herpes?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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