It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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