haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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