Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize