you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
