OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
