after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
