im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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