Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
