dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
where are my eyebrows?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
