I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize