Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
