Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
