I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
