You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
