I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize