There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
