is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
