toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize