what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
