That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm like, not good at living.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
