so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
