I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
