I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
