make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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