I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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