I love black thongs
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
