drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
