This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
