Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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