Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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