Me. At least after what I've been through.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
smell my finger.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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