Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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