I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
