we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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