Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
