Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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