so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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