I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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