We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize