It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
