I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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