I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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