We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
