I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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