I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
