I'm lost and stupid without you.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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