I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
