i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
