how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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