we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
