life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
