The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
