i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
That reminds me...we need to get swords
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
