For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
