We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
