Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Drunk is a universal language darling
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
