Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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