I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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