We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
